I love food. Some people who struggle with eating disorders or dieting will try and tell you the opposite. But quite often it simply isn't true. Who doesn't love biting into a fluffy, buttery biscuit? Or taking a huge bite of sweet and spicy stirfry? Food tastes good. You can't deny it. What we don't like are the calories in the food, the weight the food adds to the body. Now maybe it isn't everyone, but everyone I have met. If we didn't like food we wouldn't end up on binges. But you know what I love almost more than food? Cooking the food. I love creating new things. Changing recipes, forgoing recipes altogether to create something all my own. It makes me feel alive and real.
Food has gotten an unfair rep. It doesn't make me eat it. It isnt the food I hate. It's me. I choose to pick up the cookies. I choose to eat them and keep eating til I'm stuffed. It's my willpower that isnt strong enough. It's me that makes me sick when I look in the mirror, not the food. But maybe with this admission I can marry the two parts. I can cook and create and feel alive while doing so, but then I can strengthen my willpower by not indulging in it. I can move forward and be thin but more than an empty shell.
I LOVE that you posted this!! I am fascinated by cooking, trying new recipes, buying new ingredients, reading cook books and watching cooking programs, and the satisfaction I feel when I cook a meal that everyone loves but I don't taste a bite myself is utterly euphoric. I sort of knew others felt like this but I am so thankful you wrote it. Its true, its my attitude to food and eating, and my fatness because I overeat I hate, not the food itself.
ReplyDeleteMuch love