i keep on dreaming because i can

title quote - Because I Can by Katy Rose

Don't we all have broken dreams? Dreams we've left abandoned either because we thought we couldn't do it or it's too late to achieve whatever it was. Today I'm left pondering mine. My day is one of sad songs and montage fade in/fade outs of lying around different places in my house. I wanted to be a dancer but I was pulled from dance class when I was 6 because we moved. By the time I re-enrolled at 14 I was fat and awkward, a lumbering hippo. I stayed for a year, admiring how the tall, thin beauties floated across the floor, then I quit because I was tired of being in the back, feeling like I was holding back the group because of my weight I couldn't lose. So now I dance alone in my room with no real skill and distantly admire the real dancers. I also dreamed of being loved in high school, by a boyfriend and by a group of friends that I lunched with, shopped with, partied with. Instead I was alone. I've still never had a boyfriend or a group of friends. I'll never know what its like to be young and infatuated. I'll never know what it's like to break curfew riding around with friends. I dreamed of excelling in college and making new friends and starting over once high school failed me. I failed out of college when I once was smart. I made no new friends because it was just like high school. I was still overweight and boys still loved the pretty girls and the girls still stuck with the people they already knew. All the time I've dreamt of being thin and beautiful, and maybe now I'll actually achieve one of my dreams. Being thin at least. I'm down to 147 even, maybe when I'm thin I'll be a new person, invent new dreams and a new future. Start over as someone completely new. Fresh, unmarred, clean and thin.