we often give our enemies the means for our own destruction

title quote - Aesop the Ancienct Greek fabulist


So we were right, my sister is jealous. She is feeling threatened in some way by my losing weight. Last night after her original comment the previous night ("All I can think when I look at you is that you're skinny and I'm fat and I can't stop eating") she approached me asking what I do. I played dumb at first not wanting to seem like I'm actively trying to lose weight. I play it off for my family like I'm just getting healthier: less junk food, more water, more exercise. So she asked if I go to a gym I told her no, just home exercises like pilates and riding the stationary cycle. She asked what I eat and I kinda panicked. I just told her to eat less junk and to add more fruits and veggies to her diet instead. I don't want her to be like me. I know that what I do isn't exactly good for me. My methods arent advisable. Fasting and purging and obsessive exercising is not the way to go for a normal, happy 17 year old. The worst part for her is that she isnt overweight at all. She isn't super skinny, but she still only weighs 125 pounds and now I've made her feel insecure by losing so much weight. SO I feel like an ass for doing that to my little sister and like an even bigger ass because now I want to lose even more weight so that she can't catch up to me,  to prove to everyone that even if she can lose weight too that I can do it even better. Does that make me a terrible person? She asked me if I'd show her the pilates today, so we are supposed to do them together when she gets home from school. Laura has been more weight and food conscious lately too. Am I destroying everyone around me?