I feel like my posts are like a roller coaster. One day Im being up and positive then the next im as low as you can be. But I think Ive had a breakthrough. I did get that skirt the other day alaong with a ton of other clothes in a massive purchase. So yesterday after a long night of severe depression, crying, and a long talk with someone, I realized so many things wrong in my life and that I was wanting to do certain things but I am just afraid to do so. One of those things is exploring religion. So I went to church yesterday morning. It was nice and I feel so much better. Im clearer and have some of my spirit back.
On another note, I am back down to 141.6. thats a loss of 8 lbs sine Friday. I havent binged or purged since then either. Though Ive not been exercising, I have eaten a few meals. So thats exciting too. Oh and I developed a recipe for Rocky Road Cookies Im dying to test out.
And right now Im talking to a friend that s my best friend's ex boyfriend. My BFF is dwelling on him and thinks that she may spend her spring break trying to get back together even though no one has any idea if he's even willing. And just the now, after spending last night talking with my BFF about how much she is still hung up on him, he sends me a porn link and asks if I want to do something. I want to physically, but I just can't in good conscience. So I instead told him how much my BFF still wants to be with him. His response was a simple ok. Not that I expected much else, but its killing me that I cant tell her about this because it would unravel alot of bad things Ive done that would demolish our friendship. What do I do?
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