i'll never be worth anything to you

Im down to 135 this morning. The progress is good. But I have been binging and purging again. I hate that, its gross. Stupid vomit. Tonight Im hanging with Laura before she ditches me for her ex-boyfriend. My best friend is gonna be on Spring Break but she isnt gonna spend any of it with me. We're just doing our usual weekly hangout session and then she's spending the whole break out of town with an asshole that dumped her and is just using her for sex. Why can't my friends, (Im sorry, I mean friend becuase I only have one since everyone else ditches me too) want to be around me? What is so wrong with me that no one sticks around? And Im a fucking doormat for Laura because she knows I have no one else so she can treat me however she wants and I wont go anywhere. Itd be stupid to ditch my only friend. But yea, tonight we're hanging out. I hope I can be not depressed long enough to enjoy it, but its hard when no one gives a shit about me and that they make it so completely obvious that I am worthless in their eyes.